Saturday, September 11, 2010
Heys, i'm here again. Not feeling in a good mood. Rather, i feel super, depressed. Maybe this was how she felt when i once broke up with her. But now, she's so loved, by her boyfriend. I should have treasured her from the beginning in the past. I shouldn't have broke your heart. Maybe this is called revenge? I don't know. I want to cry again, but no tears seem to be able to flow out. I regret right now, and feeling damn angry with myself. I told you before him, didn't i? I shoul have asked you for stead first, right? & you might have accepted me then. But now, everything's too late. I was one step too slow. It made a lot of difference. If i was with her, i wouldn't be feeling like this now. Nothing i do seems to be working, i doubt it will. I don't know what to do, but wait. Wait, in pain, patiently. I'm sure about this. Feelings wouldn't fade away again. I promise. I know, i know, in your eyes, i'm some playboy now. "Your feelings come and go. Pro eh?" You sent me this message. I admit, in the past, i was like this. I hate that me. I've changed, and i hope you'd give me a chance to prove it to you. I want, to hold your hand in the movies like how we did, how we'd always talk till midnight every time. How'd i text the whole day without getting tired, and at night, you'd fall asleep suddenly. Those are just happy memories. The last sentence i said to you since the last time we met, was just three but deep words, I love you. We were standing outside a restaurant, near the MRT station, at Vivo. That place really brought me many memories. Some sick things that only you and i know, but they were fun. I really wish to back to that time. "Dear John" was the best movie i've ever watched. Because you were there with me. I was holding your hand tightly. You never let go, even i had sweaty palms that were obviously disgusting. But you didn't do anything about it. Maybe once or twice, you'd wipe my sweat away. Of course, normal people would do that. But you'll always put your warm hand right back with mine. It felt as though you were touching my heart. How afraid and excited we were during the movie, because our first kiss was almost gna be gone to each other. It never happened, but i still loved you deeply. I blame myself for my lost of feelings for you. I don't know what gone into me, maybe i really changed. But i'm determine to change back, to the old Cameron. Who loves you deeply, whom you loved, the one who was always desperate for your iloveyou before sleeping. All these memories are just awesome, too good to be true. Honestly, even though we broke up, i never 100% forgot about you. I'd still think of the times when we were in the movies, ocassionally. And, i know, i know, it brought me a smile. You may think i was silly, but they were just good memories. Everything i say here is coming from the bottom of my heart. Girls say, there are thorns behind every sweet talks from boys. That may be true, but not for me. I love you wholeheartedly. You're all that ever happened to me. You may hear this from me before, before we broke up. Forget that, and i hope you'd give me a second and final chance. I love you, girl.
Love, your ex boyfriend.
