everything's alright,
@ Breakdown-nnn.bs.com
Thursday, September 30, 2010
I'll fail.
I hate Geography. Geography sucks. Geography can just go and die. Geography should not exist. I must score well for Geography even though Geography sucks ttvm. Did Geography and i got all the darn Geography questions wrong. Screw you Geography. Because i suck at you, i have to study you. -.- Screw you, you screw my life, Geography. I hate you, zzz! Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Everything you said, was just a mere lie.
You ain't familiar. You changed, you lied.
Hey (: I am bored. And i am sniffing like mad >:( That's a real bad thing right now because, tomorrow is the first EOY paper. To be honest, i'm kinda nervous. I really don't know if i am going to do well. Seeing what i had gotten for Geography, it really drowned me. 41/100? What the. The first Elearning screwed it. -.- Shit it mancxz. I better buck up for Geography, and my other results! I ain't letting history repeat itself. The history sucks alright -.- FML right now mancxz. I better get top 15 in class. I've got to put a fullstop to this nonsense. Maybe Jiahui was right. Having lesser friends is better? Lesser distractions, i guess. But who am i supposed to look up to if i am having troubles? Whatever. Nicholas, you're seriously going overboard you ass. I hate you. I hope and pray you leave GM and never come back. You suck, i promise you that. Don't act like an angel in front of the teachers when you're just a pure dog. -.- You suck ttvm. FML!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
You're awesome just the way you are, loves.
Heyyos :D Today was kinda boring :/ Did nothing much. Yeah. So i came here for a short post. Went to aunty's house>Homed>Studied>Blog. :D That's basically what i did today :O Exams are around the corner and I'm worried shit, to be honest. ): I hope i do well, i better do well! Term 3 has been awesome for me, academically. For private life wise, not that great i guess. Hahaha, but what's over is over :D HEEHEE. Going back to school tomorrow, looking forward ^^. Except for Ms. Yap, i tell you, she SUCKS TTVM. Talk about her i pissed off liao. So never mind, byeeee ^^.
Friday, September 24, 2010
I'm dying inside, to hold you.
I miss you a hell lot.
Hello hello :D I think i'm addicted to blogging. It's been long since i have blogged two days back to back, unusual, so appreciate it ^^. HEEHEE. Oral made me very nervous ttvm, >: . At first i felt as though nothing was happening, i still could laugh like nobody's business. But when i was walking up to the teacher, i stunned! I got super worried. & i was very afraid that i'd screw up my reading. Stumbled a little, i guess it's ohkayz as the passage was quite long. It's very small and i had to strain my eyes to look at the words -.- , stupid. Anyway, English Conversation asked: "Do you have grandparents living with you?" That was totally a question i could score mancxz :D Was happy. However, Chinese Oral was just a total killer. ): Both questions and the passage were darn difficult! I screwed up 2 words, ): . Sad. Chinese Conversation asked: "Do you think it is important to have friends?" Holy mama, i answered a lot but stumbled even more. There was one time, that i paused for at least 5-7 seconds. I was super pissed with myself >: . Was asked to sit at the back of the hall after my turn. Talked to Shawn Tan. Talked about Oral, Teachers. "Fcuk you!" "You say one more time!" "Fcuk you!" HILARIOUS, LAUGHS! :D yeah, played catching after that. Tiring mancxz. Sinyin took a hard time catching me, HAHAHA. Went home by car. IMMA GETTING IPHONE 4, WOOHOO :D HAPPY. I AM A HAPPY BOY ^^ Okays, that's about it. Byeeeeee~
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Everything's resolved, but something is coming up again.
The blue papers shows how i feel inside. The yellow paper shows the front i put.
Hey yo people :D Finally, all friendship problem has been settled :D That's super good news, but another problem is coming again, love life. >:( I desperate, but only for YOUR one and only beautiful love. You're just so amazing alright. I love you ttvm. You're awesome. I love you; I want you; I need you. Okays, enough is enough. No more emo posts, unless i'm really devastated. Maybe that's partly why there's not many people reading my blog :( I promise, no more.
Received some results back this few days. Mostly are good, but i'm not really satisfied with it, unfortunately.
Science: 19/30 (Deproved lots. >:( )
Geography: 14/15 (I think i'm mad :) )
English Wordpower: 21/30 (Expected F9)
Speech: 21/28 ( -.- Suck it. )
Yeah, Science & Speech was lousy! Speech, yes it's A1, but i expect high A1 and not borderline ): I shall work hard and put in my best tomorrow's oral. I've not been studying much this few days. I don't have much motivation, unfortunately. In a day, the maximum i'll do is a test paper and maybe one or two topics of Science. I doubt that's enough, right? /sigh, i'll push myself hard tomorrow after oral, and rush home and do my revision. ^^ Oh right, i've signed up to be a Student Counsillor, believe it or not. I know i can't make it, but i really want to give it a shot. Most importantly, for the CCA points, and the WHITE COLLAR :D Those are the two main points. I hope i'll be even able to make it through the interview, if it's possible :D Okays, i think this post is long enough. Byeeeeeee~.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Hey :D 170910 is awesomeeee :D It's damn fun mancxz. Went to Cheryl's house on that day :) Cheryl, Vanessa, DarrenSim, DarrenGoh, Chaoxian, James, WeiJing, SiTing, Vivian & Kirti went to her house :D They all swam, except for me, and WeiJing. It's damn fun! :D They swam and made a lot of noises, and many people complained, but we didn't give a damn ^^ We continued making noises, and i took pictures. I thought of a good thing, which is to take a picture of damn jumping into the water. It was awesome. Success! :D But halfway through, the girls went to change into their swimming costumes, and the boys took off their shirts. :O But i still didn't swim as at first, i wasn't even allowed to be there in the first place. Dhens, i received a text from my mother saying that i can be there :D Maybe because i was too happy, my phone dropped into the swimming pool -.- I was merely walking on the pavement, and i suddenly slipped, and my hand went into the water. And unfortunately, my phone was in my hand, damn it. From then, many things happened to my phone, and now it's officially not working. At first, there was no sound. But after a while, it worked. Then something kept popping out, damn irritating, ignored -.- Then my camera had some water vapour on it, and i could not take pictures == That's worse alright. So i couldn't do anything, tried to open it with screwdrivers, to no avail :/ So i gave up, just leave it. Started taking pictures :O Hahaha, it's really damn funny mancxz. :D Then the rest were playing with the Xbox. Shouting here and there but we just did our thing. Started to eat cup noodles after the 4 boxes of pizza we ate. Don't call us pigs, i warn you. We were hungry and there was a lot of us ohkayz! Hahaha. I ate Tom Yam, most ate Chicken. Yeah, funnn leh ^^ I definitley want more of this type of outing, i promise. We must have it after exams, alright? HAHAHA,. Say yes! Hmm, then we started to play Virus :D Fun max! Tiring though, but it's worth it ohkayz! ^^. Yeah, i forgot who started off being the catcher. OH RIGHT KIRTI. At first she needed to go get her phone which was in Cheryl's house. So we waited. Then someone suggested we hide first, so Kirti will understand that she's the catcher. So we went to hide. She took so long! The she said that she couldn't stay for much longer. But we still had some time, so we played for a while. Cheryl was the catcher because she was the last one to appear ^^. Ran and ran and ran, and i was the last one to get caught. Which meant that i had to be the catcher. Caught many people, as i had to. Then after my turn being the catcher, we stopped. Everybody was tired to the core. Kirti went home, so did i. I took the taxi with her, together with James. :D Free ride HOHO. Yeah so i went home. Fun day, love it to the max. ^^
Friday, September 17, 2010
Let's just hope and pray that my mother would let me go to Cheryl's house tomorrow :D I did my homework ley, so i deserve right? Hahaha. If she don't allow i go correction tape everything i did. Kidding! Who'd be so stupid mancxz. Maybe Sean & Jiahui laa, bimbos maa :D Hehehe. History scored 74/100, sian. One mark also can't give me. I don't care, Ms Quek DIE DIE must give me 0.5 more marks, so it's A1 ^^ YAY. Hahaha, let's hope and pray. That's why my title is, " In Jesus name i pray, Amen." Hahaha, awesomeeeee :D I love God. Let's hope he allows my mother to allow me to go, complicated. Hahaha, today rocked ohkayz ^^ I love today. Ohkayz, short post, byeeee.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Heyya :) Feeling slightly better, but not that much though. Honestly, i hate myself a lot for loving you. I mean, why do i have to bring so much pain and misery to myself. It's not like i can control it, i can't. But i've got no regrets falling in love with you to be honest. You're just so great. ^^ But the way you talk to me makes me emo. I know you're frustrated over many things but, i don't see any reason why you should be treating me this way. I get upset over those small little things. But i'm fortunate enough to have all my awesome friends around me constantly cheering me up, especially Jiahui Jie. Although you always make fun of her and i, but i know you're just trying to make me smile. Thanks a million for being there for me :) I'll try to cheer up, i know it's difficult, but i'll try. I believe that everything is possible as long as you put your heart to it. Thanks all my friends, you're awesome :D & finally, i still love you.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Today is seriously -.- Sucks, a lot, really. Sorry, the other wasn't the worse day of my life, today is. My mind is really at a blank. It felt as though my heart was stabbed with a knife. I wish i could die right now, like, really. If only we could be together again, i would just fly up to sky high. I love you.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Heys, i'm here again. Not feeling in a good mood. Rather, i feel super, depressed. Maybe this was how she felt when i once broke up with her. But now, she's so loved, by her boyfriend. I should have treasured her from the beginning in the past. I shouldn't have broke your heart. Maybe this is called revenge? I don't know. I want to cry again, but no tears seem to be able to flow out. I regret right now, and feeling damn angry with myself. I told you before him, didn't i? I shoul have asked you for stead first, right? & you might have accepted me then. But now, everything's too late. I was one step too slow. It made a lot of difference. If i was with her, i wouldn't be feeling like this now. Nothing i do seems to be working, i doubt it will. I don't know what to do, but wait. Wait, in pain, patiently. I'm sure about this. Feelings wouldn't fade away again. I promise. I know, i know, in your eyes, i'm some playboy now. "Your feelings come and go. Pro eh?" You sent me this message. I admit, in the past, i was like this. I hate that me. I've changed, and i hope you'd give me a chance to prove it to you. I want, to hold your hand in the movies like how we did, how we'd always talk till midnight every time. How'd i text the whole day without getting tired, and at night, you'd fall asleep suddenly. Those are just happy memories. The last sentence i said to you since the last time we met, was just three but deep words, I love you. We were standing outside a restaurant, near the MRT station, at Vivo. That place really brought me many memories. Some sick things that only you and i know, but they were fun. I really wish to back to that time. "Dear John" was the best movie i've ever watched. Because you were there with me. I was holding your hand tightly. You never let go, even i had sweaty palms that were obviously disgusting. But you didn't do anything about it. Maybe once or twice, you'd wipe my sweat away. Of course, normal people would do that. But you'll always put your warm hand right back with mine. It felt as though you were touching my heart. How afraid and excited we were during the movie, because our first kiss was almost gna be gone to each other. It never happened, but i still loved you deeply. I blame myself for my lost of feelings for you. I don't know what gone into me, maybe i really changed. But i'm determine to change back, to the old Cameron. Who loves you deeply, whom you loved, the one who was always desperate for your iloveyou before sleeping. All these memories are just awesome, too good to be true. Honestly, even though we broke up, i never 100% forgot about you. I'd still think of the times when we were in the movies, ocassionally. And, i know, i know, it brought me a smile. You may think i was silly, but they were just good memories. Everything i say here is coming from the bottom of my heart. Girls say, there are thorns behind every sweet talks from boys. That may be true, but not for me. I love you wholeheartedly. You're all that ever happened to me. You may hear this from me before, before we broke up. Forget that, and i hope you'd give me a second and final chance. I love you, girl.
Love, your ex boyfriend.
Today is literally not my day :( I don't like it. I mean, many unpleasent things happened today. Well, maybe just one, but it really made me upset, and i cried a lot. I hardly cry, but i did. I cried a lot, so that i'd feel better. I cried for last time, when i emo-ed. So now, i'm all better. But, i guess you guys would want to know what had happened? Well, it's mainly because of my mother. I merely just asked a question, "Can i join Gordon (my cousin) for fishing today, midnight?" I asked politely, like an angel (wink.) She gave me an immediate and negative answer, which made it obvious, it's a no, right? Yeah, i wasn't happy. So i begged and she started screaming like a mad woman! I mean like, it was just a question. What more, it was holidays, and a weekend in fact. I didn't understand why she wouldn't allow me. Her blood started to boil, so did mine. I even wanted to get out of the car, walk to the MRT and go home myself. She started to bring up all the negative things all together. Yeah, that's why in Facebook, i said "Good things you keep quiet, bad things you scold. It isn't fair man." So many people liked it, which meant that they agreed with me. Yeahs, we've got to face it, those are our parents! They like to bring up the negative things we have done, and leave all the positives one to a side. "I've been tolerating you for a long time. You've really drive me up the wall!" Please! If i've driven her up the wall, why does she still treat me so well? She brought everything in, why didn't she want to bring in my results? How much i have improved, especially on my weaker subjects? Why? Because they were positive things, that's why! Now, i'm feeling fuming mad alright. I didn't understand why. It was just a mere few hours of fun, you can't even grant me that? I finished most of my homework on the first day of the holiday, and yet you still say i didn't study? What rubbish is this? You're making a cock and bull story! I was pissed off, i started crying because i was angry. I hid myself in the room for 1.5 hours. I fell asleep, :p. Fortunately, i'm feeling better right now. I hope this doesn't happen on me again. A mere one sentence question, turned out to be a nightmare, a hell lot of cock and bull shit. Which made me totally pissed off.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Hello :D Awesome's here to blog. Proper post laa, i think. Hahaha, i have 7 minutes to blog. Currently at YuanJing's house blogging heehee. By right, supposed to be at home, or at the playground downstairs my house. But i magically flew here HAHA. Hmm. I feel like blogging about Marina Bay Sands trip. I will tonight! I promise. Ohkayz, got to go, byeeee :D
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Omgosh, I'm dying -.- my cousin is such a pain in an ass. I can't tolerate this bullshit. Bye ==
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Yo :D I feel like typing short form way, for a change. But dhens, doesn't seem nice. Like what Si Ting says, typing proper English looks so much better alrights ^^ . Hahaha. I can't wait for tonight, because i can order $2000 of room-service tonight, whooots :D I've decided to order Wagyu Steak :D Awesomee isn't it? Hahaha. I think this is gna be a short post. Checking out of MBS tomorrow. So, bye peopleeeeeeee xD
Monday, September 6, 2010
Hello hello! :D I am currently blogging at Marina Bay Sands. Whoots! This place is like, awesome laa. I love the view especially ^^ . I'm staying at the 28th floor facing the city. Waa, awesome :D I shall upload pictures into faceook/blogger once i come back from the hotel. No promises though. Hehee. Very lazy laa ): Hmm, each day i've been ordering room service. It's damn expensive alright. For a piece of Roti Prata, it costs $16. Wtbear? I at home make also can. Hahaha, but the price didn't matter as were using points to pay for everything. We left $1000 for food, freee! YAY (Y) Went swimming this afternoon. Ronnie was right, a lot of ang mors. Awesome view ohkayz. Taken a few pictures, :) . Staying here for 4 days 3 nights. Actually it was only 3 days 2 nights. But we decided to extend it a day longer :D. The world's just so small. DarrenGoh saw me at the basement of MBS. Unfortunately, i didn't see him, neither did he shout out for my name ): . Hahaha. He's checked out already, yeah so never mind. Ohkayz, just a short update for you people :D Byeeeeee!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
I guess i'm feeling all better. The stone in my heart, somehow seems that it has moved to somewhere else. Well, maybe this proves i've recovered. & of course, i'm happy about it. No point dragging on, because i know nothing would come out of it. So, why bother clinging on to something that will never happen. Perhaps, some people might think it's just a waste of time. However, it may just be very important to some people. Fortunately, for me, i've learnt how to let go. Honestly, i'm proud to say, i don't like anyone right now. Feelings might come back, i don't know. Hopefully, it doesn't. Because, i really don't want history to repeat itself. I wouldn't mind if it's a happy history, but it ain't. It's just a history that reminds me of misery, sadness. How emo-ish i felt then. Life was just miserable for me. I don't want to feel this way again. Yeah, i'm really happy for myself right now. I think, for now, the best is to really focus on studies. I mean, my results shot up to sky high when i was single. Studies are the most important now, isn't it? Yeah, it is. :D Hopefully my A1 streaks continue. 1 more A1, i earn a television for myself. How great, right? I still can stay happy when i'm single. Why not? There's so many people i can rely on! My family, my friends, plenty. I'm feeling much better. Alright, i'm going to do dedications now.
Kirti,
Thanks for going through thick and thin with me. You're really a true friend. True friends are hard to come by. I appreciate everything you've done for me for the past few months. Although sometimes we may get angry with each other, but everything will work out in the end. That's just totally awesome. I'm sorry if i really throw my temper at you when i'm feeling down. I hope you forgive me. I wish we remain as friends forever. Love, Cameron.
Vivian,
Thanks for everything also! Your advices to me, you really woke me up. Your advices, they beared lots of meaning, it was deep. However, it made me realize how to let go. I shouldn't cling on the something that wouldn't work out. (: Thanks for everything. We'll give each other advices whenever we need them alright? I'm glad both of us are very happy right now. Single, is just the best, isn't it? Hahaha! Once again, thank you. Love, Cameron
Mindez,
Hey brother :D Thanks for constantly cracking jokes to me, you really made me cheer up a lot. Although i think you don't know what has happened to me, but you still crack jokes like you always do. (: I appreciate it. Will be there for each other whenever we need each other alrights? We'll go through thick and thin together, ohkayz? Promise. A promise is a promise, and i keep them. Thanks a million. Love, Cameron.
Shermin & Joey,
Although i don't think you're going to see this, but i still appreciate everything you've done for me. Thanks for constantly asking me to cheer up and stuff. I don't know much to say. Well, i guess, this is enough? Hahaha. Hope that you'd confront me to whenever you have your own problems. I'll be more than happy to share my advices with you. Thanks loads. Love, Cameron.
To everyone else that cheered me up,
Thanks thanks thanks a lot! :D You guys are just the most awesome people alright. And yes, i mean it. Thank you for giving me advices. Thank you for being by my side whenever i needed someone there for me. Thanks for giving me a listening ear, to say whatever i have to say. It's deeply appreciated by meeee :D I've learnt to let go. Do come to me whenever you have problems. I love you guys ttvm. :>
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Hey people. I'm really, not feeling that well. Honestly, this is the worst day of my life. So many unwanted things happened. Why? I thought my emo season was long over, perhaps i was wrong? I've been hearing rumors. They're rumors, so i don't know if i should believe them. But now, the truth has come to light. Why did it have to happen to me? I seriously didn't expect this to happen. Yes, it's really hurting. You guys don't have to know what's happening. I'm like, lying for someone's happiness. I told her i didn't like her. I told her, her wish came true. I can bet she was smiling like there's no tomorrow when she saw that message. But, it was all a lie, but a white one. I really, didn't want her to give me a cold shoulder anymore. I had to give in, just by saying. I didn't really mean it, at all! Yes, i admit, feelings did fade for a moment. However, it all grew back. Honestly, it grew even more in the past. But now, no matter how strong my love is, i guess nothing would come out of it. I really thought i had a chance. Is age really so important? Gosh, and it's only 7 months! Nothing seems to be cheering me up. In fact, more problems are coming. Yeah, i'm seriously tired of living. Anyway, 13 years is enough, isn't it? No need to live any longer already. But they say, it's stupid. It's stupid to end my life just like this. I don't know. "You walk past a T-junction. If you turn left, it's friendship. A never ending road. If you turn right, it's heaven, but there'll be a dead end." Which would you choose? I chose left. But, relationship is important, too! I'm really forcing a smile. I want to cry, and feel better in the end. But, no tears seems to come out. Maybe i'm really too heartbroken. It's just really the wrong choice. I'm always blind. I choose the wrong things, the wrong girl. You two were once together, i could remember how hurt you were. You cried and cried and cried and cried. I tried to comfort you, but nothing seemed to work. In the end, it broke. You cried a lot again! Is he so important? Yeah, i guess to you he is. I'm just fucking useless, right? I can't even win a girl's heart. How much more useless can i get? -.- I'm seriously damn pissed off with myself right now. Fuck myself. Fuck my life. Fuck myself for being that of an asshole.
